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5 Ways To Interpret “I Love You, But He or She is Not In Love With You”

“I love you,” is easily said, but not easily lived.

Love is a word we use to mean many different things. We say we love our dog, a good hamburger, a nice quilt, a good compliment, and a romantic love interest. The word is far too quickly used in new relationships and often still repeated even after all the love is gone.

But saying you love someone doesn’t mean you actually do. Just because someone says they love you doesn’t mean they actually do. How do we know if a woman  or man is telling  the truth? Thankfully, his or her actions tell the real story. When his or her actions match words,the love is true. When they don’t, it is fair to question.

See: 5 Signs He or she Doesn’t Love You

Here are 5 common actions from someone who aren’t in love:

1. He or She won’t talk to you. Many people open up their lives for those they love. They desire to be known and a key element to being known is through telling our story. Husbands often misunderstand this about wives. When she is telling you about her day, she isn’t just reciting facts. She is letting you into her heart. When a woman reduces communication with a man, it’s a sign that she doesn’t love him.

2. He or She won’t sacrifice for you. Few things are as sacrificial as a woman in love. Look at a mom with her newborn–her love causes her to never question her sacrifice. So it is when a woman loves a man. She sacrifices for him (just as he should sacrifice for her). While many women could do better to be a little more “selfish” about their time and dreams, when a woman refuses to sacrifice for a man, it’s a clear sign she doesn’t love him. She might enjoy him. She might be using him. But she isn’t loving him.

3. He or She doesn’t admire. Women can have a parental love for those they don’t respect, but they can’t have a romantic love without admiration. They can lust after someone who isn’t admirable, but they can not love him. Women respect those they love. I often see this played out in a negative way in marriages when a woman loses respect for her husband because of laziness or poor choices. In those situations, her love can quickly fade. If a woman doesn’t admire you, she doesn’t love

4. He or She doesn’t honor your mom/family. Men do not operate well when they are caught between their mom and their significant other. Men want both women happy. While not every mother or family deserves total respect, a woman in love will honor your mom just for being your mom. She might disagree with your mother’s decisions or not appreciate aspects of her personality, but she will do her best to honor the woman you call mom. She will also honor your family. Within proper boundaries, she will do her part because of her love for you. If a woman won’t honor your family, she probably won’t honor you and vice versa.

5. He or She won’t put you above her friends. It’s been said that when a woman enters into a serious relationship, she loses 1-2 friends. Why? Because there is only so much time a person can give. Friendship requires quality and quantity time together. Women (and men) need good relationships outside of dating or marriage, but those relationships must come second to the one they love. When a man or woman continually chooses  friends over you, it’s a sign he or she doesn’t love you.

Early in a relationship, a woman is under no obligation to love you. As a matter of fact, if she falls in love too quickly with you, I would run.

However, there comes a time in which he or she must decide if he or she is in or out of the relationship. In those moments, he or she can say a lot of things, but whether or not he or she loves you will be defined more by actions than words.

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